I've been feeling out of sorts with my faith, where it is now, what it means to me and if I honestly believe in it any more. I was attracted to Asatru because of the tenets of honor, being responsible for your own actions, words, and deeds and not laying the blame or praise on a deity.
Lately, well for the last few months I haven't felt the pull of the Gods not even a hey we haven't abandoned you kind of prod from them. It's not like I don't care, but I noticed my altar is dusty, my horn is empty and my runes are going unused.
I do honestly think a big part of it is not having a Kindred here that I can talk to and learn from on a constant basis. The other part is not wanting to deal with the head of the Kindred and what's turned into a feud between us that's turning me off of being Heathen if this is what it turns you into. I know not all Heathens are crazy, or get so wrapped up in the dogma of their beliefs that they think they are better than everyone else or their faith makes them superior.
But not wanting to deal with the person who introduced you to the faith, and not wanting to make the effort to be with the Kindred you're a part of makes it hard to keep the faith as it were. It takes effort to believe and right now I'm not seeing where its worth the effort for me. I wish there were Heathen Folk found in Chicago that aren't tied to Neo Nazi nutters or Wicca-tru but that seems to be few and far between.
*sigh* I don't know where I want to go with this or where I'll wind up but right now I'm feeling pretty lost and unsure of where I stand with myself and the Gods.
Lately, well for the last few months I haven't felt the pull of the Gods not even a hey we haven't abandoned you kind of prod from them. It's not like I don't care, but I noticed my altar is dusty, my horn is empty and my runes are going unused.
I do honestly think a big part of it is not having a Kindred here that I can talk to and learn from on a constant basis. The other part is not wanting to deal with the head of the Kindred and what's turned into a feud between us that's turning me off of being Heathen if this is what it turns you into. I know not all Heathens are crazy, or get so wrapped up in the dogma of their beliefs that they think they are better than everyone else or their faith makes them superior.
But not wanting to deal with the person who introduced you to the faith, and not wanting to make the effort to be with the Kindred you're a part of makes it hard to keep the faith as it were. It takes effort to believe and right now I'm not seeing where its worth the effort for me. I wish there were Heathen Folk found in Chicago that aren't tied to Neo Nazi nutters or Wicca-tru but that seems to be few and far between.
*sigh* I don't know where I want to go with this or where I'll wind up but right now I'm feeling pretty lost and unsure of where I stand with myself and the Gods.
posted by CypherOfTyr at 9:17 AM
1 Comments:
No idea if you still check this account or blog, or how things have progressed since your post.
Just wanting to extend a hand (even if just a cyber hand) to see how you are doing and if you are wanting to talk to other heathens, perhaps to realise that no we're not all crazy ;)
:RtR:
Diotrik
Post a Comment
<< Home